Testimonial - 26 hour labor

With permission, I have the honor of sharing mom's story....

I knew from the beginning that this couple was special. They hesitated at first to bring me on board as their doula because the husband wanted to be involved as much as possible. I assured them I never replaced the partner, but am there to support them any way they need. Truly the love between the two of them was remarkable, beautiful...pure. Quite honestly, this is the first time I have seen a husband so knitted into his wife that he was able to respond to her every need...really without a word. If there was ever a man-doula, he would be it....so alert, so aware of his wife's needs, both physical and emotional. I was more than amazed. It was absolutely lovely, from the moment labor started to the time of birth. 

Mom was powerful! All day, through the night, intense pressure, intense labor. She breathed through each contraction, focused on the joy set before her. Mom was beautifully breath-taking as she pressed through each contraction without fear. Mom was open, willing to try almost anything to continue to work through the intensity. Determined to go without interventions, Mom persevered 26 hours through the night and early morning. Born at 11 AM that next morning we welcomed a beautiful baby boy, full of life, full of curiosity. 

Here's Mom's Testimony:

After years and years of dreaming that we would one day become parents, the day was only months away. While our hearts were full of joy and anticipation, inside there were also those questions and fears that many new parents face. But then there was Crystal. Crystal came along and brought into our birth story a level of expertise and sensitivity that not only helped to prepare us for our son’s birth but also helped to sustain us throughout the entire labor and delivery process.

Having Crystal as our doula was one of the best decisions we made. She is approachable and comfortable to talk to. Her presence throughout the process helped me feel safe. During our conversations in the months leading up to the “big day”, Crystal put time and energy into helping us form our birth plan. She walked us through an activity that helped us realize what was most important to us as well as what we could let go of. Having studied the “ins and outs” of the role of a doula and as a mom to three beautiful girls (with one more on the way), Crystal spoke with passion and confidence. However, never once did we feel as though she was imposing her personal opinion or beliefs on us. We felt cared for, heard, and empowered to make our own decisions. Also, Crystal ultimately demonstrated her own dependence on God by praying for us after each meeting.

Two weeks after our son’s due date, things were not going as planned but Crystal had helped to prepare us for that. She arrived at the hospital right when we needed her to and then stayed with us during the 26 long hours of labor. She became well respected by the entire medical staff, including my doctor who spoke very highly of her. Crystal offered me suggestions for how to relax and be as comfortable as possible (including the timely placement of her own warm lavender neck pillow), space when my husband and I needed it, and words of encouragement all throughout the long and intense experience. Her support also helped my husband know how he could best serve me during the labor process. Labor was more physically painful and mentally challenging than I ever could have imagined but because of Crystal’s support, I was able to stay calm and persevere with courage and strength. In the end, it was the steady support of my husband, Crystal, and the medical staff that made it possible for me endure to the end and give birth naturally to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. For that, I am thankful beyond words.

Baby boy born 3/1

9 lbs. 1 oz.

22 inches

Doulas and hospital births

A lot of questions that I get from people who have heard of a doula for the first time from me is, "How does that work in a hospital?" and "Are doulas only for home births?" While we may be a little more free in the environment of a home birth, we are certainly not limited to it. In fact, I think having a doula in a hospital birth could be even more beneficial, since the doulas role is to make the birth mother comfortable and well cared for. Often times, hospital settings can interfere with the intimate aspect of birth, so I feel having a doula in the hospital can really help in this area. 

Also, by providing services in the hospital as doulas, we allow ourselves to be an example of how natural birthing is, and how good our bodies are at doing it. I often hear medical staff comment on how well a birth mom is doing BECAUSE of the "great support" she is receiving. Hospital rooms can be turned into beautiful birth places! Often times it's as simple as a mind shift, treating the room like your own bedroom...(adding music, dimming the lights, limiting your visitors that come and go, creating an atmosphere that would make you most comfortable, etc.) 

Often times, though, there can be confusion on the role of a doula in hospital settings. There at times can be a tension between doulas and medical staff because of how we were trained (one being medical, the other being emotional and practical). I should clarify that doulas are NOT medically trained in any way. They are primarily there for the physical, emotional, and informational support of the mother. Our certification doesn't allow us to provide any sort of medical care whatsoever. Also, it is NOT our job to be the voice of the birth mom - it is important that our care and support is ultimately giving the mother the confidence and assurance within herself to voice how she wants to birth. We are here to empower the mother and the partner (and no other person). Our focus is on one thing - HER. She is the star of the show for us. She is the hero. 

Because doulas are so emotionally connected to their birth moms, often times we can forget to not take offense when medical staff wants to suggest (or push) a method or intervention unto mom that is not within her comfort or birth plan. At that point we have to choose to respect and honor that suggestion even when we may disagree. But we can run into sticky situations that can be hard when we feel the mother's voice is no longer being heard. Its important we do not pick up an offense. What I have found is that if you continue to encourage the mother in who she is, while NOT voicing something every time you disagree, while still honoring and encouraging medical staff along the way (because they are doing their jobs, and ultimately want the best for mom and baby), things pane out very positively. I recently received this beautiful referral from a OB I worked along side. The referral was a real encouragement to me and all doulas who will work with this hospital in the future:

So today I honor the community of people who work together for all birthing women. I can say out of experience, that even in a hospital, you can have the sacred and beautiful birth you picture. Often times those who walk away with negative experiences are because there was a lack of support or education around their birth. I have personally had two of mine born in a hospital, and the other two born at home. This is where the doula can help! Doulas can provide the care, the education, the resources you need to understand the road ahead, along with getting to know your body, to ultimately bring about a healthy baby! Also, in the case of emergencies or caesarean, a doula can be of help even after birth. Many doulas offer breast-feeding support, or postpartum care so you can heal and even process your birth together in a healthy way. Doulas are a great asset to your hospital birth because they give on-going support the entire time mom is in labor. This can help mom keep focused even while an OB or nurse may have to come and go in and out of your room.

There is positive education that supports doulas and hospitals working together. I believe the more honor that can go towards both (from both), the better for birth moms. We NEED doulas in hospitals as much as we NEED medical staff. We NEED each other. And moms everywhere are wanting it - the care they all respectfully deserve.